Perfectly innocent hashers gathered in the densely offensive Maplehood to study the mechanics of sex. They studied maps showing the homes of real live sex offenders, role models for all. 2 Fuck Canuck chose this location very carefully, with the express intention of pissing off Jort Daniels, who had planned to hare from the same spot the very next week. Since Jort is not PMS, he will now find a new location, hopefully equally densely populated with wankers, but maybe not as stinky.

Postage Tramp dressed up in his best bikini and trench coat, the better to frighten young children and aged hashers. PTA was horrified, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Something about all that hair bursting out of the sparkly bra...

Mother Abraham showed up hoping for a trail long enough to make up for missing Skippo this weekend, and 2FC did not disappoint her. There was a fifteen mile eagle trail, a four mile turkey trail, and beer for all. Whiney Bitch hit a solo S.O.S. stop and instead of standing there and chugging like a good hasher, carried the beer back to the others - oh wait, thanks Whiney, that was tasty.

Two female co-hares were too slow to stay ahead of the runners, so they sent 2FC running ahead as a decoy while they hid in the bushes, waiting to accost children and sex-offend them. they were rewarded with everyone's favorite plunger.

Postage Tramp ran a short circle for being mostly naked. At the on- after, PMS and Dewey regaled the audience with tales of woe from a hard day laying playground tile. Dewey was rewarded with a double simultaneous foot massage from Jort Daniels and Dancing Queen. Where is Leather Balls when you need him?

All-in-all, it was just another sexy shit-offender trail.

Jort Daniels