Feb 27 2010
It was a cold and sunny day in
February. The sort of day where you car gets deceptively warm with no
heat going so you decided that shorts are ok to hash in. It was not that
warm. Hit by a car and I, Shot by a whore, are rolling to the hash after
looking up the directions 4 times during the week going it is five min away and
then as I follow them get the impending feeling that again I have made a wrong
turn at Albuquerque. Scrooge McFuck sends me a text that they are right
across from a giant windmill and lo and behold I am at that stop light. I
immediately become excited because I spy two playboy bunny outfits in the
crowd. Due to this hasher opinion of the beauty that is a plenty in this
kennel. As I get closer one of the bunnies is quite a bit furrier than I
prefer, I realize this is Meta, dressed in a black nightie with white fur trim
and a set of bunny ears. Luckily Ceasar was in the same out fit as I
was able to wash my eyes with her beaming "smile."
I knew from the look at the hares
that this was going to be either a grueling trail or a short one based on which
rout you choose. Ho Hum being so flight of foot any head start and I was
done. When the rumor of a dead trail and a walkers version I breather a
sigh of relief. We were graced by two virgins, Just Michah and Just
Jessica, and a visitor, Dare I Lick, all the way from Hawaii.
One can only wonder how he got that name.
The second circle started Whiny
Bitch started whining about some thing. I just drank till he
stopped. The hares went through chalk talk and got the pack excited for a
shot stop on trail. Two if you walked. I think I had four shots.
And the pack was off. A few paces till Just Gary and I decided to be the
DFL's on the walker trail, all the harriets chose that path and it seemed the
most prudent choice.
Upon arriving at the shot stop, the
gracious home of Ceasar Salad, which I've been told has a hash crash
room. The Jose was flying. I know tequilla makes the close fall off
but upon minutes of ingestion I heard two great quotes, which thanks to Jose I
can't directly quote but I can give you the basic jest. Just Madeline,
complimented Ceasar on her two lips. closely followed by All in the Pink or Two
in the Pink saying all she wanted to do was smell it. And we were off on
trail again.
After some brutal rail road tracks
we arrived at the beer stop. The Bleeding Decon, a lively establishment
of the highest degree and Ceasar ordered two rounds for us all and there was
much rejoicing. A table of Norms watched us gather and turned their
interest turns out it was Jailbates and Shits Bricks family and friends.
I tried to recruit his wife and then they left. Hit by a Car was asked to
leave as well. We formally met the Virgins and they tried their darnedest
to entertain us. Just Jessica going first and after many attempts at
convincing the lovely lass to show those favorite hidden body parts she told
the story of the fish with no i's. Just Micha not to be undone tried to
show his One eyed trouser snake but in deed gave every on a full Moon.
(Tumbling Dice This Friday) And again off on trail we went. Another side note I
have is I overheard Meta propositioning people for money in exchange for
favors. Don't worry buddy hopefully the job market will pick up. I need
it too to.
the second half seemed really
familiar to me but while on it I learned that Pees like a Princess has never
had sex with an ex. But on the first half he did find Nut on trail. And
again I find myself at the shot stop. Same result as the first time only
with twice as many hashers and now Meta has brought out some pomegranate
vodka. I had another two shot of Jose with Just Madeline and Two in the
Pink. There was a rumbling up stairs and Ceasar Salad was removing Just Jessica's
pants with her teeth. What does that tell you about Jose.
There was Pizza ordered and we had
to get back to circle to get it. Lucky for us SnatchSquatch was waiting
and picked up the tab.
The Circle was lively and much
rejoicing went on the hash shit nominees were the hares, Meta, Two in the Pink,
Just Madaline, Cliff Band Her, Just Gary, Pees like a Princess for assorted
crimes that I do not recall except for the winner of Cliff for his ability to
pick up high school track girls.
Swing low was sung and the pack
headed to Ceasar's for pizza, Alas I had the Mizzou game to scurry off to so I
know no more.
Shot By A Whore
And
Hit By A Car