What an eventful night! There was
so much sausage present that it was comparable to running naked, backwards,
through a cornfield.
It started off with everyone enjoying a cold, frosty beer. Then we all turned
to water. Why? Because we were scared? Why were we scared? Because we just
found out the old plan of paying 5 bucks for beer was draining the Hashconomy.
Soooo, under Obamas new plan, starting in October, we will be required to pay 7
bucks to hash and we now have a retirement plan and free health benefits. Ok,
the second part wasnt true but moving on.
Our trail started off by running into a mall parking garage that was more desolate
than Betty White's vagina, in which Whiney Bitch apparently camped out in for
who knows how long. We ran down an exit ramp which was so curly, that i felt
like a 3 in the morning white castle trying to pass through one's large
intestine.
We made it out, only to find ourselves in an episode of Survivor climbing down
ladders and ropes,and climbing UP ropes and fences. Finally, fiiiiinally we saw
a sign, a light, what could it be? What was the message? "Jesus wants you
to excercise". It was on the sign in front of the church. That wasn't
exactly what it said but i think i was close?? I think? After a few grueling
hills, a beer stop in the place where people are dieing to get into, and the
hares nearly becoming Plaxico Burris's friend, we made it back for circle.
Circle was fun. Somehow, the cereal from last weeks hash must have been
considered lost property because it made its way out again tonight. It
literally went around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and
around, until Paul Blart (Mall Cop/ AKA Just Maurice) put it down on the
ground. Thank God!! He somehow became a virgin by the way. Oh, and he got in
his car and sped off once he heard the words, "White Powder, White Powder,
White Powder". I think there might have been a little misunderstanding
there.
And finally, CONGRATS to the members of the new 400 Club. With the Hashconomy
dwindling the way it is, we are still proud to pay for your Hashersecurity that
the rest of us will never see by the time we hit that milestone. Im out.
Battleshits
.
