I wasn't assigned the write-up, but this came to mind while I was sleeping last night... On-oN! TuTu
****DISCLAIMER: Write-up related to LOST****
Oceanic Flight #774
I, Jack (TuTu), really wanted to go back to the Island (St. Louis
hashing). I did my best to convince Kate (DO Beav) that we needed to go
back to the island. I told her that those we left behind needed us
(especially with all the wankers away in Louisville, KY). She kept
worrying about baby Aaron (DuDu Fairy), but I told her that if we went
to see the old lady (my mother-in-law), she would take care of the baby
and help us get back to the Island. It took some convincing, but we got
on a new flight and headed east. We passed through numerous dark clouds
and flashes of light and suddenly we descended upon a part of the
Island we had never been to before (The Fireplace Bar & Grill). It
was covered in a deep, dark, and thick haze of low hanging clouds
(smoke) and as we pushed through it and arrived at a building, we
suddenly realized that something was not the same as when we had been
at the Island before. As we walked through the door of the Dharma
Initiative (The Fireplace), it was obvious that we had arrived at the
Island 30 years in the past as evidenced by the people's clothing style
and the furniture. We gathered in the back away from where most people
could see us and slowly, but surely we were reunited with our long lost
pals (Big Hump hashers). It had been 3 years (2 weeks) since we had
seen them and things had significantly changed. Sawyer (BA) and Juliet
(SOSO) were now dating and Jin (Ricky) was now speaking fluent English,
instead of his normal jabber that kept sounding like "iwooaiwtya" or
something like that. We decided we needed to go explore the jungle
(West County) and followed the trail laid out for us. The trail went by
some industrial areas, through a golf course and by some baseball
fields (what were they all doing on the island, who knows?). Although
we didn't encounter any polar bears or mysterious violent black clouds,
we did encounter lots of shiggy, a few water crossings and a dead deer.
Hurley (Whiney Bitch) wanted to eat the venison on the spot, but
decided to have sex with it instead. We came close to a river and Kate
(DO Beav) and I decided to go a different way. We were
shortcutting/little bit off trail and were trying to decide whether to
go down a path, when we caught eye of Sayid (Lock Nut Monster)
trouncing about in the Jungle. We of course, had to catch Sayid (Lock
Nut Monster), because the Dharma Initiative wouldn't understand him
just running around in the jungle in his underwear. Shortly after some
more shiggy and some serious steps, we arrived at the BEER stop, where
we were greeted by The Others (the walkers). We had a few BEERs then
proceeded back to the Dharma Initiative (The Fireplace), where we
attempted to assimilate ourselves into this living past society, by
drinking their beer, eating their pizza and singing some songs. It was
great to be back on The Island, even if it didn't last very long and
Kate and I were whisked away through a storm from the West. We hope to
make it back to The Island someday, if only it were easier to find and
stopped moving to a different location all the time.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Ok, here is the deal - I just got back from Chicago and ate like a pig!!! So, I'm going to be running my ass off the next couple of days- to include Saturday...
So the bait is this.. this is going to be a truly live trail, with only a 20 min head start and 1 BH. I have never - yes I'm saying NEVER been caught- there has been one close call but you suckers didn't catch me! Who's up for that challenge?
My legs are stinging from scouting this trail!!! Hey Rudy.. dude there is even dead Rudolph on this trail, if you find it (you should smell it) and get a picture of you dry humping it (that's all I need, if you feel froggy to do more that's all on you) I have a free shot for you- if a picture is produced!
We will start at I guess it's Kirkwood / Fenton/Valley Park- shit, I don't know it's one of those..
Circle Address: The Fireplace - This hole in the wall has been a beer stop for us before, but I'm using it as a start and on-after.
3377 Tree Court Lane
St. Louis, Mo 63122
Circle up in parking lot.
Metrolink: uhh....No.
Walker/Wheel/Dog Friendly: maybe?
Shiggy/Flashlight: You will need a head lantern/flash light- for this trail.
Map Link:View Larger Map
Directions:
From NORTH/Florissant/Edwardsville: From I-270 - Take exit 7 for Big Bend Rd. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for Valley Park and merge onto Big Bend Rd. Turn left at Tree Court Industrial Blvd. Continue on Tree Ct Ln. The Fireplace will be on the right.
From SOUTH/Fenton/Sunset Hills/Kirkwood: From I-44 - Take exit 276B-276A to merge onto I-270 N toward Chicago. Take exit 8 for Dougherty Ferry Rd. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for Valley Park. Turn left at Dougherty Ferry Rd. Turn left to merge onto I-270 S. (You will be doubling-back on 270 to get to Big Bend) Take exit 7 for Big Bend Rd. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for Valley Park and merge onto Big Bend Rd. Turn left at Tree Court Industrial Blvd. Continue on Tree Ct Ln. The Fireplace will be on the right.
From Belleville: From I-255 - Take 255 to 270 N toward Chicago. Then follow "SOUTH" directions.
From DOWNTOWN: From I-44 W - Take exit 278 for Big Bend Rd. Slight right at Big Bend Blvd/Bishops Gate Ln. Slight left at Big Bend Rd/Bishops Gate Ln. Continue to follow Big Bend Rd. Turn left at Tree Court Industrial Blvd. Continue on Tree Ct Ln. The Fireplace will be on the right.
From CENTRAL/Clayton/U. City: From 170 S to 40 W - Take exit 25A-25B to merge onto I-270 S toward Memphis. Take exit 7 for Big Bend Rd. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for Valley Park and merge onto Big Bend Rd. Turn left at Tree Court Industrial Blvd. Continue on Tree Ct Ln. The Fireplace will be on the right.
From WEST/St. Charles 64/40 East: Take exit 25A-25B to merge onto I-270 S toward Memphis. Take exit 7 for Big Bend Rd. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for Valley Park and merge onto Big Bend Rd. Turn left at Tree Court Industrial Blvd. Continue on Tree Ct Ln. The Fireplace will be on the right.
On-After: The Fireplace
3377 Tree Court Lane
St. Louis, Mo 63122
Cheap BEER... with coupons!!!! They now cook pizzas and the owner has told me that we can even order in. Don't let the cold keep you away, I'm going to have a trail that will keep you running, and a little hint of you being able to catch me might keep you going. I will run in my underwear if I'm caught - (did i mention I've never been caught)?
Call Lock-Nut Monster @ 314.644.0838 if you get lost.