It all started in a dark, warm place - The Grove. The smell of transition was strong in the evening air...
It was there that old hasher's and new hasher's alike gathered in the parking lot to celebrate (by celebrate I mean running for beer) StatueTory Rape's coming out by haring our trail with Help Me I'm Wet. He was a virgin hare before last night, but no more. Help Me's experience showed him how we like it. Many got in touch with their feminine side by wearing their favorite boa. Although there was one hasher who got in touch with his devilish side and kept his snake out all night.
We circled up, hare and harriet were blessed and away with their yellow feather's and pink hair.
Just Sarah D. was led away from the circle, and a naming discussion ensued. Should she forever in the hashing world be known as Furry Crustacean, Since You're Down There, Moaner On Herro's Boner, or Furry Pounder With Cheese? No. None of these were good enough for Just Sarah! The majority ruled and she was blessed with the name Garage A Trois! Hooray. We had virgin's at the hash as well. Just Becky, Just Chuck, Just Azhar, and Just lovely girl (whose name I can't recall) graced us with their funny jokes along with views of their breasts and bare bottoms. They know how we like it, too.
Gladdy and GSpot made an appearance but to a concert they would go. We were off to run behind two crazy fast hares. Well, most people were. I heard that trail was long or was it fast? Either way - awesome trail. My trail for the night, the walker trail, was loaded with fun. Trails are funny places because so much can be lost out there. Things like dignity, keys, virginity, and phones. I do recall beer at the beer stop. Oh, and the the police did a drive by but knew our presence there was of no consequence to them.
We had several significant runs and this is where things start to get blurred for this hash scribe. Hammertongue's 25th cranium band was christened as well as StatueTory Rape's 10th.
Oh how could I forgot? I got hashshit. I'm not sure why? It had something to do with changing clothes too early or losing my phone on trail during a potty break. Maybe both?
We headed to Novak's (a fun gay, straight, lesbian friendly bar across the street) for the on after. Many drinks were purchased here, many songs were sung, many asses were grinding, and many fuzzy memories were made. Remember, if you can find Keyless she's - in da club, bottle full of bub...
Dewey poured some sugar on us all and it was good.
Lovingly submitted,
Full Service Ass Station
Everyone knows Statuetory dumped me right? Well, if you want to know the truth about it, he decided he's gay. Yea, really, that's what he told me. Well, at least that's what I told my Mom. ;) And then you know, I got so depressed, I decided to (elbow elbow) bat for the other team too. You know what I mean. So, in honor of our comings out, we're haring together. We're going to have a very merry hash full of lively cheerfulness and joy! We might even have a new song for you. Wear a boa or be prepared to show your snake. Seriously. :)
Venue: In regards to StatueTory's dumping of Help Me and celebration of his subsequent coming out, the two have decided to remain friendly and lay trail together. You won't get wet or hash through knee deep poison ivy or chiggers. However, this is what you would call a 'transitional' neighborhood. Hang tight and bring a light and your whistle. And be prepared to karaoke and dance your a$$ off with all your new friends! :)
Metro Link Station: Central West End Station. 1.2 miles. Head south on S Euclid Ave. Turn left at McKinley Ave. Turn right at S Taylor Ave. Turn left at Chouteau Ave. Destination will be on the left.
Address: Commerce Bank, 4019 Choteau Ave, St Louis, MO 63110
BelleVegas: Cranium north on W Main St toward N 28th St. Turn right at SR-157. Turn left at Petroff Dr. Take the ramp onto I-64 W. Entering Missouri. Take exit 38A to merge onto Forest Park Ave toward Grand Blvd. Turn left at S Vandeventer Ave. Slight right at Chouteau Ave/
Eville: Merge onto I-270 W via the ramp to St Charles. Take exit 7A for I-255 S. Keep left at the fork to continue toward I-255 S and merge onto I-255 S. Take exit 25B to merge onto I-55 S/
Downtown St. Louis: Turn right at Clark St. Turn left onto the ramp to US-40 W/
North St. Louis (Florissant): Take the ramp onto I-170 S. Take the exit onto I-64 E/
South St. Louis (Sunset Hills): Turn right onto the ramp to I-44 E/
West (St. Charles): Take the ramp to I-70 E/
On-After: Novak's Bar & Grill, 4121 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, MO 63110, 314-531-3699
Karaoke from 9-midnight EVERY WEDNESDAY with Karaoke Bob ~ then DJ Dance Party 'til 3AM!
If you get lost or need further assistance, please contact Help Me @ 314-277-6345.
