Valentine's Day: It is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other; sending Valentine's cards and candy, often anonymously. It is very common to present flowers on Valentine's Day. The holiday is named after two men, both Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines".

The hashers met at a cosy little parking lot in Clayton. When I say cosy what I mean is a parking lot outside in the freezing cold. However, it was a time of celebration as this was meant to show the greeting card and flower industry what we really think of them and their stupid holiday. Right? OK. It was meant to drink and run around in the cold. Meta Arsehole and Hump up the Volume were our hares for the evening and they gave an arousing chalk talk for their fellow hashers. They had to demonstrate their use of blue chalk for the run, seeing as the ground was covered in this white powdery stuff  that I haven't seen since I lived in Ohio. Among us was a virgin, Just Missed Her Butt, I mean Just Mister Butt, brought by the beautiful and talented Do My Butt. On-out!

The run was glorious in that it was very very short. And the beer stop was even better, because it was very very long. It was here that I realized I missed the naming of my favorite Just last week, and now Long Duck Dong has escaped the wrath of what happens when you hit Dewey Sexual System's car. I think Automobile? has a nice ring to it. I also met two lost hashers, Pi Whole and Head Cheese , who decided to come out of hiding and rejoin the hash.  Maybe for a day, maybe longer. Those two are crazy. Literally. I overheard Head Cheese talk about how he like cold weather because it keeps the bodies in the trunk from smelling bad. The hares got laid. DMB said the other word for cranium at least 13 times. Ricky's Crab Shack (IWOOAIWEYAIJWTPTO) tried to join the posse, but we were afraid of catching something. A very nice Alouette was given to Tippecanoe and Fuck Me Too. Luckily she's a good sport and she had a great time. Or she just had no clue what was going on and wondered why all these white people were talking about her scraggly hair. What a bunch of racists we are. Especially since we named the Asian guy Long Duck Dong (thanks for pointing that out 20 times, Head Cheese). It was getting a little warm in there so we craniumed back to circle.

Along the way a few snow angels were made, but I think Dapper Sapper said it was done wrong. Of course the Canadian points that out. Sexorsist let us know that Any Cock'll Do showed everyone sharing Valentine's Day with a loved one that any cock will do as she mooned them. That restaurant had no idea what hit them. We circled up for what was going to be a long circle (why does Postage Tramp always do the cold nights?) and cracked open our beers. Hump up the Volume blessed us with red beads and candy, but we had to show our tits first. Luckily I could find mine, and yes, my nipples were once again razor-sharp. It turned out that once again, we ran another shitty trail. Who knew? Head Cheese pulled a Whiney Bitch and complained that the hash had gone soft because we allow cranium gear in circle. FRBs and DFLs drank together, to show that we were trying to get away from our racist beginnings. Some other stuff happened, but I probably wasn't paying attention, thinking of the awesome hash shit that I was going to give. Finally my chance arrived and I nominated CliffBangHer for texting Kiss Kiss to Double Stuffed Doggy Style down in Houston. I understand she's lonely, but don't worry, she's hot, she'll find someone. After his sloooooow down-down, the cops showed up so we swung low and craniumed to Krueger's.

There were hashers, pizza, wings and beer. What more could you ask for? Oh, a naming, you say? Apparently that happened too, to Just Kurt. Read below for details.

May the schwartz be with you,

Dewey