The pack gathered in the corner parking lot of the Schnuck's on Clayton Road. All in the Family, Q of the P's father, and Fuck A Duck were visiting for the holidays. Their new faces were a pleasant suprise. Now, this was not mere coincidence that the parking lot of a grocery store was the start/ finish of the trail. The hares were well aware that many people attending the pot luck on-after would be preparing their contributions promptly after circle. Madam Yuk had beer stop duty with Dicksmith. She had already ran the 5 mile trail twice that day. So did Re-Entry, but he paid his five bucks and Yuk wanted him to get his money's worth. Re-Entry led the pack on a pre-set trail through a quaint neighborhood, a long drainage ditch, and then through an affluent area of big honkin' ass mansions.
The pack was reunited at the double secret beer stop near Fontbonne University. Pulls Out Early and Postage Tramp were the first to arrive. After the consumption of libations, the pack scrambled off again through Concordia Park and back to Schnucks. Humptus Interruptus arrived first, because he knew where he was and didn't follow trail. Circle started late becuase some hashers (Pornogenic) were just arriving and others (Norman Bates) had run to Schnucks to use their kitchen to rustle up some home cookin' for the pot luck. Circle didn't last long because we were asked to leave by the Schnuck's security guard. Fuck a Duck was astonished at our complacancy. "F you, you F'ing F!" he shouted at the guard. We finished Circle in the cozy environs of Yuk's house. Food was aplenty. Pornogenic made this awesome potato casserole, and Pulls Out Early made dessert and the Ramen Noodle thingy we all love. Dicksmith's famous beans were extra spicy. Imagine the natural gas developing in the gut of 20 beer guzzling hashers! No, on second thought, don't. No one who hashed cleaned up or dressed up for the holiday party, and that was just fine with this hare. 19th Ho and Hood Ornament looked nice, as did Flossit and Lizzardo.
During circle, Just Holly and her husband Just Joe appeared. The hash succeeded in making them feel right at home by not allowing them to drink while standing in the middle of strangers less than 3 minutes of arriving. Postage Tramp made everybody drink for something, and he got the hashshit to boot.
After eating and drinking and much rejoicing, the hash began the ReGift Exchange. This is the exchange where you re-wrap a present that you got for Christmas that you didn't like, so you burden someone else with it. Humptus Interruptus didn't get that memo, because he bought a Crown Royal gift set and begged for it to be opened first then shared. But he's a nice Jewish boy amid a swarm of goys and shiksas, so what did we expect? PMS got a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. Yuk put the bottle on the winshield of PT's car, lest she leave it behind. Meta Arsehole got the best ReGift of all: a life sized fake stuffed white owl. The hash was absolutely green with envy.
All in all, it was just another shitty end of the year holiday hash.
On On - Yuk
Some PMS Observations:
-It could be argued that Hood got the best re-gift. Hood Ornament talked Humptus into trading and she went home with the Purple Muffin Stuffer that PMS regifted from the last hash. Guess Humptus thought Laura didn't need a second new toy. (He also got the orange edible dildo from the Witty at the last exchange).
-PMS wanted to trade Pulls Out Early's Crown for her Mad Dog, but Pulls Out plays well with others and shared.
-Major Backslider - All in the Family, from Columbia came out to hash. All in the Family is none other than Queenie's dad
-Speaking of backsliders... Queen of the Pussies and Anthrax Tampax came out, but didn't see their shadows. -We hope we'll see more of Anthrax now that she's finished with school.
-It was also nice to see long-timers Hood Ornament and 19th Ho.
-Meta's Ohio-hio-hio girlfriend, Just Heather, visited and flashed and was eventually named. What did we name her Meta?
-Meta is looking quite 'hot' sporting a brand new goatee.
-Colonel Fuck a Duck presented Postage Tramp and PMS with patches from him homeland.
-Pussyfart fell asleep
-Fart probably didn't get 'any' that night.
-There were lots of twins. Fart and Norman were the bobbsy twins. -Pornogenic was an upside down triplet. -Queen of the Pussies and Pussyfart were twins. -Madam Yuk and Just Holly were birth twins.
On-on - PMS
The hash will start in the parking lot of the (open) Schnucks on Clayton Road. The adress is 6600 Clayton Road, St. Louis, MO 63117
Directions:
From the intersection of 270 and 40: Go east on Rte 40 to the Bellevue exit (number 33C) Go left onto Bellevue, then Left onto Clayton Road. The Schnuck's will be on the left side.
From the east: Go west on 40/64 to The Clayton Road Exit (34B) Stay on Clayton Road, the Schnucks bill be on the left.
Yuk is providing a honey baked ham and Dicksmith's famous beans. The rest will be pot luck. The pot luckiest would be to bring stuff to make sandwiches with and vegetarian side dishes, but you guys will have to figure that stuff out. Bring beer or wine to share. She'll have a case of Bud Lite. Bring a change of clothes of you want to feel fresh and fancy for the party (Yes, you can use her shower, but only if she can scrub your back). So let's dress up; you guys clean up well.
Re-Gifting Surprize Exchange Guidelines:
1.) Rewrap a gift someone gave you that you absolutely can't stand. (Ugly sweaters from in-laws, videos of volcanoes erupting, gift packs of Hickory Farms cheese product food -like substances, etc.)
2.) Do NOT put your name anywhere on the gift.
3.) The price of your re-gift is irrelevant, you just have to hate it and want it gone.
4.) If you do not have a present that sucks from this Christmas, feel free to re-wrap a present from the past. (Maybe Witty and DQ will re-wrap the elegant salt and pepper shakers Pornogenic and Yuk got them for a wedding present.)
What fun we shall have! Who knows? You might actually like what you have to take home.
You can also hear directions on the Hash Hotline at 636-230-BEER
For more information, or if you get lost, call PMS at 314-221-5411.