Hash #1571 AKA The Totally Original Hash AKA Holy Shit Where Did That Rain Come From? AKA Let's Celebrate That Dewey Has Spent $5782 On Hashing went swimmingly. Nothing to see here, move along.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA just kidding. Have a seat, grab a beer, and strap in. No no, not Strap On, he didn't show up, that smart mother fucker.
Where to begin? Oh, maybe at the beginning, where we circled up at Sublette Park for the 1004th time this year. Seriously though. It's been 3 times in a month and we ran through it two Wednesdays ago. At least the hares, Claim to Flame and Reverse Australian Shepherd, were aware of that decision. Prior to arrival, the Arch was apparently shorting out and a ton of rain was dumped in the area. The park has a pavilion, so we decide to circle there and scare the crap out of a girl taking refuge in the storm. GladHeAteHer got everyone circled up (like we aren't just programmed to stand in a circle) and we started in on chal...HOLY SHIT IS THAT HUMMERS AND PMS?...k talk. Everything seemed normal, except for about 10 Phoenix H3 marks..ahem, dollops that Shepherd added to the mix. New marks, pouring rain, same spot as past 4 hashes...yeah, nothing can possibly go wrong.
And nothing did! Except for TSA finding every Brown Bag check that was just Gatorade and Tequila with a fuck ton of salt added (Gatorade is pretty much salt, FYI, and you didn't need to add more) so that it was like a Brown Bag of nasty cum water. Thanks. Oh, and there was really no indication that the Eagle could circle jerk back to the Turkey and we just thought all the marks, sorry, dollops washed away, so that was a fun 20 minutes. Annnnnnnnd there was that part after the BS when the train the was sitting on the tracks decided to start moving and almost killed Tazed and Sweet Ho. Or that all the walkers got lost and ended up at a bar and those that did make it drove back with Stink Palm and Eye Swallow...wait, WAS that an accident? Hmmmm.
Luckily, everyone made it mostly alive back to the start. Circle was a blast, Gladdy must have been taking notes from Quarter Pound Me's cheat sheet or something. Splash and Licks gave out awards from the previous week's 69 Minutes Left trail, which included LockNut (who chose hommade empanadas) and Dewey (who got the default gift of delicious Mexican Chocolate Peanut Butter stout). Dewey also got her (yes I speak in third person, deal with it) 600 band beating out LockNut by only 3 hashes. Suck it loser.
It was a shitty trail, but fun, I guess. Hopefully Shepherd's next haring a couple of weeks from now will be better and we won't have to make him leave...oh wait.
See you at next week's #1572 AKA The 3rd Trail in the Benton Park Area in Two Weeks" Hash!
Claim to Flame: Sure, I'll co-hare, where do you want to start?
Reverse Australian Shepard: I've found this totally new place to start from, it's called Sublette Park!
RAS: Yes! This triangular park was originally named Manchester Park and received its present name in 1925.
Claim: Oh, that's interesting, but we--
RAS: It was named in honor of William L. and Solomon B. Sublette, western fur traders who helped settle and improve the best routes for migrants along the Oregon Trail.
Claim: Okay, but we start from that park all--
RAS: William retired after the 1832 Rendezvous at Pierre's Hole, a yearly event held in the summer for American fur trappers to gather together, sell their furs, and resupply themselves for another season of trapping. William was shot trying to help trappers who had heroically ambushed a migratory party of Native American men, women, and children because one of the trappers wanted a red blanket.
Claim: ...where's on-after, then?
RAS: The Royale! Their website says due to their small kitchen and limited seating, they cannot accommodate groups larger than 6!
Claim: This is gonna go great.
Circle: Sublette Park
5701 Arsenal St, St. Louis, MO 63139
Google maps: https://goo.gl/maps/zS13WMySts56f6jh7