Obviously nothing went wrong with this trail at all.

We circled up in Illinois at Gateway National Golf Course, where we were assured by the hare that we had permission to park, and it was even recommended to pre-lube there for their kindness. We knew trouble was brewing with the hare asking for people to volunteer to drive the pack around since he decided to do an A-B trail. Not to worry though because a nice train decided to park and undergo maintenance between start and the beer stop. Since the A-B trail thing kind of just didn't work, the train screwed up any kind of planning that was done, and the hare got kicked off the golf course he promised us we had permission to park at, Tased stepped in and got on his phone with Louis C.O.C.K. (Because that's who you want showing you how maps work is Tased...) and they decided to move start to the on after, so at least the A-B business was solved.

Once we got all set up at the start we all got in our cars and drove over to the on after where we acted like this was the plan the whole time. We re-convened circle, frantically posted on facebook, and hoped the chalk directions wouldn't be too hard for people to see and actually pay attention to. At least there was cold beer, so whatever, it's Illinois we weren't expecting much. We did the circle thing. As usual no RAs showed up, so we called Pussy Snatcher to RA but she wasn't paying attention long enough for Quarter Pound Me to actually show up and take over (Yay an RA!). The hare(s) (Surprise Tased is now a hare too!) were called into circle where they proceeded to tell us about marks that one would normally see, and failed to tell us about marks which we actually did see, and blessings and names were said. The hares were off, and took a nice leisurely stroll down the street, and actually just kind of stopped and stared at each other for a few minutes like 3 blocks away from start, well within heckling distance. Eventually they remembered that they were in fact laying a trail and meandered down some side road, then the pack was soon off! Walkers away first so they could immediately be overtaken at the first check, then runners away! The pack is off!

We were all prepared for some deep shiggy as the google maps of the golf course parking lot showed dense vegetation to the north and south, so of course this was a pavement pounder of a trail and several people decided to make their own shiggy by jumping up and down in pot-hole puddles on the street. We all got to a true trail arrow and got thoroughly lost, and at least one person went and investigated to see if Tased was being cute and putting a 4 line true trail to trick us. It was decided that it was indeed a true trail, and we wandered around lost for like 10 minutes until we found trail going in the opposite way, because everyone who checked the true trail just can't count past 3. We then made our way to some park where we got to the beer stop and we all got a contact high from some dude who stopped Dewey (who was promptly abandoned to deal with the locals, cause hey, there's beer to be drunk), and it was explained to her that they don't get a lot of runners out there.

We drank beer, shortcutted the already short trail somehow, and made it back to the on-after. The restaurant that was chosen for on-after promptly closed as soon as we got there, because I guess 8:30 is time to pack it in over in Illinois, but we had chips and stuff. Headlights combined 3 different types of chips into one bag so that was neat. People got called into circle for all of the normal things, complaining about getting wet, sneaking into the on-after and making a takeout order before circle started because they knew it was closing, hares for the list of issues this trail had, etc. Eventually it was decided that the hares should drink, because they obviously should, you'd agree too if you showed up. People tried to convince everyone to do an on-after in taco bell, so instead Soulard was chosen because that's in Illinois and who knows what the hell happened after that.

--Fatliner