This trash will start at the prelube. It was a gorgeous spring day, and we have had a long winter of drinking indoors. Beaner Weiner was generous enough to volunteer his patio to any that could sneak away. There was food, beer, the potential for karaoke (thanks, Strap On!), beer, dog, Free Mustache Rides changing into 2:19’s top, and beer.
So at this point I’m rather drunk, so I cannot guarantee any more of this trash is based in reality. $5 refused to move the start of the Free Beer Hash to Beaner’s, so we went to circle. It was the perfect storm of great weather and free beer to bring so many backsliders back! Some MAJOR offenders included Tu Tu Fairy, Holatteral Damage, Help Me I’m Wet, PMS, Mother Theresa, and Pillow Fucker. There was free beer. I forgot to listen to chalk talk, but I will summarize it as “Blah, blah, London, blah, checks are circles, blah..”.
Dewey brought me homemade pickles. They were fucking incredible. I almost ran with the jar, but I probably would have dropped them.
There was some running. I think I ran. This part is pretty fuzzy.
There was a beer stop. Leather Balls sucked on PMS’s toes.
We left the beer stop. It would have been significantly helpful to have a cranium light. My legs look like the Orientbeering hash, and I pulled a thorn out of my arm this morning.
Circle was girthy, with literally ALL of the lyrics of “Jesus Saves” sung. Tater Twat flashes her tits, which Cow Cock and I missed. She was kind enough to give us an encore! CODU and Frankie got hashshit for something.
On After was at ITAP CWE, and literally all the food places nearby were closed! El Presidente Claim ordered some Dominoes, and we feasted on Pizza, cookies, and pickles. Kind of the perfect night! Toxic and the man that made $5 cum to the hash (St Augies?) made appearances. Delicious beers were consumed. Smear campaigns continued. Fantastically shitty trail, $5. Bangalore is lucky to have you!
Hash Title: Free British Hash!
Hare: $5, $5, $5
Location: Forest Park
Write-up: Cheers, fellow hashers!
5 Pounds, 5 Pounds, 5 Pounds has Brexited and returned home to St. Louis from London, that final resting place of Gispert. Having completed his British stop in the Hash Foreign Exchange Program, sampling no fewer than 10 London-area kennels, he would like to share how they do it on the other side of the pond, to prepare the Big Hump crew for any future adventures of your own. Give it a try! Those who never change their half-mind never change anything.
So... first order of British business: Hash Cash. In London, trail costs 2 pounds sterling. (And comes with much less beer.) Few of you will have British Pounds to give (though maybe a few pounds to lose?), and the English beer rations will not suffice this thirsty kennel, so I cut a deal with the GM to donate all the beer for this week's hash from my personal stash, to make this a FREE HASH! (3rd anal? 4th? Not sure on the count for this one...) Freeeeee beer for all the haaaaaaashers!
Circle will be at the Lower Muny Parking Lot in Forest Park. Google Maps tells me that's at 1 Theatre Dr, St. Louis, MO 63112.
What to expect on trail: I cannot forecast to you the action of the hare. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. In general though, British trails use fewer marks, mostly just single dots, arrows, and circles (checks). No TP; that's illegal. One key difference: after a check, most directions are not marked, and the first dot you find is usually true trail (though the distance to that first mark tends to be longer.) I'll explain it all at chalk-talk. There may be a short-cut. Trail should be fairly dog-friendly, and a wheel-friendly route (or meet-up point) can be arranged.
There will be a DS (Drink Stop). SPOILER ALERT: It will be beer. It won't be the end. It won't even be the beginning of the end. But it will be, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
In the international spirit, on-after will International Tap House CWE. It will be "Friends and Industry Night" there, and since you're my friends and I'm in the industry, I cut a deal with the bar so that if you tell them you're "with the r*nning club", you get $1 off all drafts. ITAP doesn't have their own food, but you can bring in your own bubble & squeak, fish & chips, baked beans on toast, go get a burrito nearby, or just order in a pizza.
What to bring: virgins, cranium lights, maybe a spare cooler & ice if you have that to offer.
Public Transport: Circle is about 0.8 miles from the Forest Park-DeBaliviere Metrolink Station.
On-After Details:
International Tap House, Central West End
16 S Euclid Ave, St. Louis, MO 63108
Open 'til 1am, bring in food, $1 off drafts
And remember: How do you manage drinking during your run? Practice.
