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Wednesday 09/26/2012 #1046

International House of Penis & Burn Rubber @ Burns Rubbers' Birthday Trail

Hash Trash:

BH4 1046
Burn Rubbers celebration of the day she ruined her dad's sex life.
or is it Burns Rubber
or Burns Rubbers
WTF?

Here follows one harrier's account of our night at Kickers, and that other stuff that happened before.

Seeing as the location promised not only a good chance of ending up in the Mississippi but lots of available
shiggy, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl the whole day.* So at 5:30 I hopped in the car, threw Fellowship of the Ring in the cd player and began my journey to the Ford of Bruinin..err..Sister Marie Charles Park.

After a thorough search of the coolers no Stag was found, nor even a stale PBR, BOOOO!!! But there was plently of lime flavored fermented river water.

In an inspired moment Goldiecocks hinted that since it was his 3rd hash, it might be high time that I provide Just Dan with a bit of guidance. Particularly since he was proudly announcing to all who would listen that he had just bought his ridiculous pink shoes on the way over. (facepalm)

Eventually chalk talk began and the hares Burn Rubber and IHOP were careful to explain the marks to be used on trail. Particular emphasis was placed on the stealth intersections and random direction changes we would encounter. Just in case we couldn't see the flour, the hares were kind enough to bring some blue chalk that would really stand out in the dark. With said chalk they explained the opposing hare arrow mark. (Good thing we didn't run across that unexplained.)

The blessing ensued and the hares were off, assumedly to the bar as they were more than a bit muddy when we arrived. I smell prelay.

Genital Tort proceeded to entertain us and lighten the coolers with many a song, at least until he got bored and walked out of circle. In his defense You'll go Blind was winking and making kissy faces.

Someone saw Norman Bates pulling in late so we decided to be nice and leave before he could get to the beer.
Luckily for him the hares put a beer halt at the start of trail. In that really easy to see blue chalk, good thing we didn't miss it.

Shortly thereafter we happened upon a roped off mud pit I happily jumped in, no one followed...

The pack eventually discovered that if the FRBs all stop and turn around TSA will flash you. Shits Jemima was seen loitering near a naughty check.

After a very nice and not at all confusing trail we eventually happened upon a BN, 1/4 mile later we found a BS. Still no Stag but there was Busch light, things were looking up. Eventually some shirts started coming off**

Heading out from the beer stop the pack made it almost halfway across the park before getting lost, I suspect everyone was following Shits Bricks.

Some time later we happened upon what was very obviously going to be a BJ, so we all went that way. After a bit of zenning we found ourselves back on trail and we hit the on in with one more virgin than we started with.

Circle was lively and had Stag, FINALLY! Notably Whiney didn't have one negative thing to say about trail. The hares were actually congratulated for their technical superiority. Holy Thunder missed most of circle but as she showed up with high octane strawberries we forgave her. Queefer did something stupid but I forgot what it was. Purdy Mouth still thinks he is Fujirazzi. There were some very significant runs with correspondingly very smelly headbands. Douche didn't even come close to getting the hashshit. Only five people drank for bringing beer to the hash, bunch of liars. I would tell more but if you want to know everything that happened in circle GO TO THE FUCKING HASH YOU WANKS!

Eventually we wandered down Broadway to Kickers. You know its going to be an interesting night when a cop car cuts you off turning into the bar and the boys in blue jump out head your way and thankfully handcuff the guy behind you. Claim to Flame looked a bit nervous.

The on after was well stocked with a variety of beer, good food and drunken hashers. Birthday shots were consumed in abundance. It wasn't too different from the many other bars we have been to until someone stood on their chair. Purdy had gone and played Thunderstruck on the jukebox. The singing and drinking continued for some time. Do my Butt couldn't even accuse us of not Bungling hard enough.

* What's the statute of limitations on that joke?
** Nothing gets a party going like clammy hairy chests.

Train Wreck

Directions:

It's a hashibration for Burn(s) Rubber(s) day of birth! Your darling hares Burn and IHOP will take you exploring through the back alleys, hills and valleys, railways, rivers, man-made lakes, tree-lined streets and urban decay that make Carondelet one of St Louis's premier neighborhoods. So get on your Harley, throw on your Hells Angels distressed jean jacket and ride down to the mighty Mississippi for a wild night of blow jobs, naughty checks and desert flavored vodka.

Meet at Sister Marie Charles Park for a hash that will go down in the record books.

View Larger Map

D'erections:

For the urban decay tour: Take Broadway south, turn left on Elmwood, drive one block, look for the Mississippi and hashers.
From 55: Exit at Virginia Avenue, turn right, turn left on Elmwood, drive one block, look for the Mississippi and hashers.

If you're lost: 586-321-1587 (burn) or 847-567-3495 (ihop)

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999