Cum one, cum all to BJ & the Bucks' (5 that is) Downtown Extravaganza.

Eagles: Like a good woman, this trail will keep you guessing throughout, with a plethora of attractions minus the pesky doctor's appointment in the morning.

Turkeys: Like a good man, your route will be straight to the point with little foreplay or cuddling afterwards. This option is very reasonable.

You'll laugh, you'll cry (tears of joy?) and you'll have a hashing good time with options to fit all of your exercise and beer drinking needs. As with any fine establishment, shirts are optional. Shiggy will be kept to a minimum assuming you're able to stay on trail, and cranium lights will only serve to blind oncoming traffic (totally your call).

Starting point: 600 O'Fallon Street. Just north of the Edward Jones Dome, under the giant Vess bottle.

Hares: BJ & The Bear; 5 Bucks, 5 Bucks, 5 Bucks

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D'Erections:

From the West: Take I-64 (that's highway 40 if you're from here) East to the 14th St exit. Make a left on 14th. Take 14th north to Cole St, make a right onto Cole. Make a left at the Ed Jones Dome, onto 6th street. Look for beer drinkers under a soda bottle.

From the South: Take I-55 north, getting off at the Downtown/Arch exit. Take Memorial Drive north to Washington Ave. Make a left on Washington. Make a right on 9th Street. Make a right on Carr St. Make a left at the Ed Jones Dome, onto 6th street. Look for beer drinkers under a soda bottle.

From the Northwest: Take I-70 East, getting off at N Broadway/Convention Center. Turn right onto Biddle St. Look to the right, see hashers under a soda bottle.

On-After: The Side Bar. 1317 Washington Avenue.