The only reason I even offered to write this was
because I was trying to make circle go faster. Seriously. It was that cold. The
few hashers that were brave enough to brave the weather circled up at Shaw Park
in Clayton. We blessed the hare, LockNut Monster, and he was away,
leaving us freezing for 15 minutes while he set the most complicated trail in
history. The pack was barely out of the lot when we hit the first check. Once
trail was found we wound up climbing a ladder, walking over a tarp, jumping
over a 3 foot wide death trap and stuck inside the courtyard of a school. We
eventually got out of the park and into Clayton, where we ran up and down the
steps of a parking garage, got in the elevator, got out of the elevator since Gay
Blade pushed all the buttons, only to realize we have no idea where trail
went, but that we were near where we started. We did find a tennis ball and
fading dots, which led some of us to think maybe the hare ran out of flour. We
decided to head back to the start, not even hitting a beer stop, when all of a
sudden trail reappeared under the interstate. A few drywall marks later we come
to a beer halt. The pack probably preferred a BS, but hey, it's beer, we'll
drink it. During which, a confused PTA and Back Door Dwarf
informed us that we must have missed some of trail, because they just got done
climbing over a wall. After the beer halt, we again found trail off of a chick
check, with the only marks being true trail arrows which lead to...da duh duh!
Another parking garage! More steps! But then, finally, the Beer Stop. We also
found CliffBangHer and Disco Ass, having not seen them since the
first parking garage. LockNut explained that he did run out of flour, and
actually ran to his car to get more. Then it took 5 minutes to get back
to the start. Awesome.
We only had time for a 20 minute circle, seeing as none of the guys had balls
anymore due to the cold. Lizzardo and Burning Asshole were called
in for skipping trail, Ho Hum for showing up late, Hammertongue, Pornogenic
and Mother Theresa for backsliding, Fuck Me Rudolph for allowing
such shitty weather and of course, our esteemed hare. Whiney Bitch and Diggity
Diggity and nothing but good things to say about trail, Stink Palm
and Disco were wearing shorts (as was Dewey Sexual System, until
she took them off), but ultimately it was Hammertongue's strange habit of only
cold-weather hashing that earned him hashshit. We swang low and then got lost
going to the on-after. Speaking of lost, what happened to Headcheese?
On-on,
Dewey
Start: Enter Shaw Park at Brentwood and Shaw, look for hashers in the parking lot by the softball fields.
What should you bring: Flashlight, gloves, hat, tights, a parka, wool socks and extra shoes.
What should you expect: Meet the real Hashers this Wednesday- cause the BEER IS JUST THAT MUCH
COLDER! OK- here it is- let's see who isn't a fare weather Hasher- I remember the days- when only a few of us would come out on nights when it was going to be this cold- WHAT A BLAST!
Directions: Hey! Highway 40 is open! You can take it to Brentwood then make a left on Shaw, make sure to keep to the right. Enter the park and keep going until you get to the end by the softball field. Look for hashers. You can also take 170 to Forest Park Parkway, make a left on Brentwood and then follow the same directions.
On-After: